Dusty
This kind of gets away from your typical "sex blog" but we are a married couple with kids so we have a unique voice to get into a topic that not many people talk about...sex when you have kids.
For me the transition has been a tough one. I've told everyone since day one, I want kids eventually but I got married to spend my time and life with Elle. I married my best friend, I didn't marry kids. Kids are/have been a blessing for sure, and don't get me wrong I love my kids, but damn does the spontaneity trickle away.
Having children has been a weird adventure for me/us. We were hoping to wait a little longer, do more together first. Sometimes the world has better and different plans for us. Watching Elle's stomach grow definitely brought up a lot of feelings (mainly, why the hell didn't I ever realize I was so hot for pregnant women?).
After kids free time disappeared and now my whole life is focused on providing and getting as much time with the family as possible. Where video games, random movie watching blowjobs and nights of fucking, cuddling, napping and repeating were, diapers and two hour feedings take hold (what a motherfucker...sorry, couldn't resist).
As a quick side note, I just want to bust the myth that sex stops after kids...obviously. I still get blown all the time and we regularly try every position we know...and are working on the ones we don't. We have sex as much or as little as possible. Nothing has inherently changed but where sex used to be our favorite and most often pursued pastime,its still our favorite but we can't devote AS much time to it. It's pet peeve of mine when guys complain about the sex or lack thereof in their marriage.
See...
On the flip side though, it has transformed the little moments we have together. The little flashes we show each other, quick grabs, rubs and gropes when no one is looking, quick kisses...everything is amplified. It amps us up enough that it builds throughout our family time and explodes behind closed doors. With the kids its no more car sex, lake sex, camping sex, airport sex (remember that Elle? Awesome), park sex and every other kind of sex in public or on balconies or in hotel rooms or anywhere that you can think of. Which blows, erm doesn't blow but isn't fun. But those times without the kids....BOOM anything goes.
We have sex once a day (as opposed to the 4+ we used to enjoy) regardless of circumstances; we didn't plan it that way it just kind of happens. Those sessions have definitely changed in dynamic. When we get to have sex, time is usually of the essence, so a quick workup then wham and bam. We both enjoy those. They're great. They make the day roll on. Those nights where we get some time to invest though....ooooh boy. Spending time getting Elle worked up, candles, games and maybe some toys...it creates such a huge buildup and release. Almost like every touch is new. Our sex life is always changing, adapting and pushing our boundaries (this blog for example). But in the end, no matter the frequency, spontaneity, location or duration I get to have a loving, sexual relationship with the woman I am madly in love with. When my P goes in Elle's V.....it's fireworks for me.
Elle
Sex after baby didn't happen immediately. We had to wait after the 4-6 weeks the doctor says to wait. Then there were other complications which extended sex with Dusty. He was a trooper, but what else could there be..I was out of commission for a time. Of course there were plenty of blow jobs for him and handies. I just knew my body couldn't handle an orgasm like he always helps me have.
We tried once or twice before i was ready and then had to stop.
Then there was a night where I wanted to just be touched, but was unsure. Dusty started to kiss me, I kissed back. Then he slid his hand down my stomach, into my underwear, and on my clit. He moved his fingers around caressing as I started to get uncomfortable. I was feeling unsure about everything. He asked what was wrong as I shewed his hand away. He kissed me and then we cuddled. "Ugh, I want you so bad!" I told him, "but I just don't know if I have it in me." We tried again but this time Dusty started kissing my neck then my breasts, down to my hips, then my leg. He licked my clit. My body went wild. The way he touched was like the first time we ever did it. My body was covered in goosebumps. My nipples were raised, and then my body released a flow of cum. I felt like I lost control of my body. Milk sprayed from my nipples, I couldn't touch my back to the bed, because it arched toward the ceiling. I screamed into the pillow trying not to wake the baby. Oh how I wanted Dusty to push himself into me, but when he tried it was sore so we stopped.
The first time was two months later after some other complications. When I felt better, we were back to having sex almost every day. To be honest some nights it seemed more like a chore to get started, but once we got started it was a good release and a time for us to have our own intimate time. Every month that passed and the baby was a little older, sleeping longer at night, we were able to do more than just a quickie. There were still nights where we would get started and we heard the crying start through the monitor. We had two choices: 1. Turn that session into a quick quickly; or 2. Pause, attend to the baby, and hope the baby went back to sleep quickly so we had enough time to make love slowly and still have time to sleep. We found ourselves in situations like this more than once. Sometimes I would think, is it worth it to have sex and lose out on sleep? It was hard for me since I had been nursing him, I was the one required to feed him through the night.
Now we are a few months down the road and having more time for us while baby sleeps. But as all parents know best, life with kids is a cycle. You begin to get used to the way things are and then everything changes.
BEFORE BABIES! AFTER...
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